Hard Time With The Holidays

Let me tell you something, moving during the holiday season has sucked. That last sentence is also an understatement.  I don't think you can actually quantify the level of suck that moving in the November/December time frame actually contains.

First off let me preface this by saying, I knew I was going to have to leave England at some point.  I got that. I for once am not actually complaining about moving away from England.  I am talking about the other aspects of moving one's entire family overseas and to the middle of blinking nowhere during this festive time of year.

So here is a list of why it sucks so bad.

1. Moving is expensive. You know all those things you really wanted to get for your kids? Scratch those off your list. It's not going to happen unless you a fan of financial ruin. Instead of gifts you're going to be buying all the essential things you need to live in your new home.

2. No decorations- You know all those fantastic decorations you have saved up in tubs in the garage?  Yeah you won't get to use them this year.  Instead, you will buy a $20 "Christmas bush" from Wal-mart so the kids will have something to decorate.

3. Christmas Bushes don't feel like Christmas Trees-  Let's be honest a four foot "Christmas Tree" isn't exactly what you have in mind when you think of Christmas around the tree.  You will probably not have your ornaments either so you will settle for cheap baubles from Wally World as well.  It's not exactly magical.

4. You Aren't in Familiar Surroundings-  Want to go shopping?  Better pull out the mobile phone to google a place and the Sat Nav to find your way there. There is no more popping to the shop until you figure out your way around. In my case you need to add in the fact that there is loads of snow and ice on the ground as well.

5.  If you have a Christmas baby like I do, they won't have any friends around to celebrate with.  Birthdays with no friends stink. For the record we did a really early and over the top birthday party for La in October.  It was Harry Potter themed and completely insane. On her actual birthday she ended up going to her last day of school for the term and having a pretty run of the mill day.  It did snow though.

6. Skype and FaceTime don't cut it.  I love technology.  I love Skype and FaceTime too.  However, during the holidays it just does not replace being in the same room as your loved ones. Your phone or computer can't hug you back.

7. Having no local friends during the holidays is almost worse than not having family close by. I am used to not spending the holidays close to my family.  Hazard of the job. Having no friends nearby is not something I wasn't prepared for.  I can not tell you how bad this sucks.  Even when I moved to England I had a support system of friends who were already there.  So, this was the first time I had to go cold turkey at the holidays.

8. It is hard to get into the "Christmas Spirit" when the only thing you have to look forward to is gifts. Everyone loves gifts, but that isn't what this season is about. When I think of Christmas I think of being with family and friends, sitting around trading stories, going to church together and the comfort and familiarity of all the traditions. When you don't have that to look forward to, Christmas just feels like a morning where you get a lot of new stuff.  

I am going to stop there because I could probably go on and on for ages.  I will say that I was lucky enough to spend Thanksgiving with my family, which was amazing.  It was mainly December that was hard.  I am just looking forward to the New Year.

I'm Here.

I made it to North Dakota. The last month or so has been quite the whirlwind. There was the flight here. That was a nightmare with pets in tow. The packing and repacking and locating and relocating. That sucks for the record. Seeing family and friends. Always a good time. The drive across the USA from the east coast. Wasn't as bad as expected except for when we got stuck less than 100 miles from Minot due to the "dusting" of snow. I guess in ND a dusting is three inches? However that even lead to meeting the sweetest motel owner in Harvey, ND. 

Thoughts From My Last Days In England

I fly back to America on Saturday. I can't stop it and it is all coming too fast. My face has been leaking tears every time I turn around. Honestly I can't stop it and it is getting annoying. I don't normally cry. It is odd and foreign to me. I don't like it.

Saying goodbye sucks. Like not in the "oh gee that kinda stinks" kind of way but in the "Oh my Lord I think my heart is being ripped from my chest and I might actually die" way. I didn't think it would be this hard. Not only for me. My kids have now realised their world is going to be flipped upside down as well. They're not keen. Seeing my daughter cling to our neighbor and tell her that she loved her and that she would miss her terribly was one of the hardest things I have had to witness. There are no words to say how much it kills you as a parent to rip your child's world out from underneath them.

Appointments for everything. I think I need to schedule in restroom breaks. I have barely had a moment to myself. Not that I want to be alone, because that is when my face starts that pesky leaking.

So, we have 2 and a half days left in the UK and my heart hurts. I am going to miss my life here. I am trying to find positive things to dwell upon, but it is hard when your whole soul is screaming to stay. I will miss you England. I will miss your people, your rain, your wind, your rolling hills, your flat bits with no trees, your history, and your wit. I am going to miss you and a piece of my heart will always reside here.

I Think I Know What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

Right before I moved to the UK I earned my BS in Technical Management. It is a pretty general business degree. I haven't used it in the 7 years that I have lived here. At the time I was earning it I wasn't even sure what I would do with it. I was just determined that I would have a degree. It was a little short sighted of me. I have saddled myself with student loan debt, and have very little to show for it other than a piece of paper that confirms that I have an education. Meh. I am just going to chalk this one up to being young and pig headed in my determination.

For the past year I have been working as a substitute teacher at my younger daughters elementary school. I absolutely love my job. I love the children. I love seeing their minds work. I love the environment. I feel energized and ready to tackle anything that comes my way each and every time I walk into that building. I think I have found my calling in the field of education.

My problem now is that we are moving from the UK and I will need to find a new job in North Dakota. I have been looking online and have found several possible jobs that I am interested in applying for when I get to the tundra. I have also been thinking about getting my masters degree in elementary education. This excites me and terrifies me at the same time. I love school, but I just want to make sure that I am absolutely positive that I am stearing myself in the right direction.

I hear a lot about teacher burn out. I know it is a tough job that requires a special personality. I wonder if I have what it takes. Time to do some research.

Model Behavior

Reading Festival

The one thing my husband swore he was going to do before we left the UK was go to see an outdoor music festival.  When he heard that Metallica was headlining the 2nd day of Reading Festival, well, needless to say he was determined that we were going to go to Reading Festival.  Metallica is his favorite band of all time and we last saw them in concert right before we moved over here.

The day started really early in the morning with us handing our children off to some very kind neighbors who kept them for the day and over night.  Then we hit the road.  It took us nearly 4 hours to get there due to horrible traffic on the M25, but we kind of expected that. After that little bit of horrible was whole a lot of epic.

I Got All DIY on My Kitchen Table

If you know me well, you know, half the time I can't be arsed to put on anything more than a t-shirt and a pair of comfortable jeans, let alone actually *do* anything.  It isn't that I am lazy.  Actually, generally by nature I am extremely lazy.  It's not my best trait and I do try to curb the habit. Let's be honest though, if I could just curl up on the couch and sleep for a day or read a good book, I would pretty much never leave my house.

BUT! I did something very handy this past weekend.  With the help of my very crafty and very not lazy next door neighbor, I refinished my kitchen table.  It was in dire need.  We bought the table when La was about 2 years old.  She is now 11.  It was covered with every single art project we had ever done.  It had remnants of breakfasts and dinners that couldn't quite be wiped off with a hot soapy wash cloth.  It was frankly a mess.  And that is putting it nicely.


So we started off thinking we were going to need to sand this oak monstrosity down in order to refinish it.  However, my other crafty and quite handy neighbor told us about a furniture stripper (not the kind that takes money as tips) that we should try out.  I call it "agent orange" but it's real name is Citristrip.  It will take the stink off a skunk.  That old finish didn't even stand a chance.We did end up sanding most of the legs ourselves and using the "agent orange" only to get into the grooves that we couldn't quite get our sandpaper down into.  In all it took us about a day and a half to get the entire table down to bare wood.

Afterwards, we sanded the table down with 120 grit sandpaper to get it as smooth as a baby's butt.  That took quite a while and my arms burned from never having used those muscles before. Then we tac clothed the table and got it ready to stain and paint.

I ended up painting the pedestal a mossy green.  It looks so gorgeous.  However, we accidentally used an oil based  paint instead of a water based paint.  Let me tell you, it is not easy to work with an oil based paint.  I still have it on my ankle and that crap isn't coming off anytime soon. It does look lush though.

The top I decided to keep an oak color.  We used a product that my neighbor had never used before.  It was a stain and poly mix.  When we opened the can it was grey.  *insert panic moment*  There was no way we were putting this on the top of my table with the amount of time we had put into it sanding it without testing it.  We ended up finding a spare piece of ply wood that we tested it on, and guess what?  It worked.  it looked like oak.  Just not in the can.

So we put two coats of the stain/poly on the top of the table and on the decorative edge. Oh I forgot to mention the decorative edge.  Let me tell you how much of a pain in the rear that was to strip and stand.  Now wait, don't let me, cause I will be here all night.  Then we put two extra coats of clear poly on top of the table.


In total, we spent 3 days refinishing the table.  Then we let it sit for a couple days to cure and harden up.  Guess what?  It was completely worth it.  Now, I want to do an old dresser that I have sitting in my hallway.  Lord help me, I might not be lazy anymore.

Asking Too Much?

A couple days ago I lost my temper with my girls.  It normally takes an awful lot to make me lose my temper, but that day I turned into a raving lunatic.  It was a slow burn that turned into a meltdown, building for days before I finally lost it.  I generally don't ask a lot from my children.  In fact I am pretty laid back about chores.  They have to keep their rooms clean, La has to empty the dish washer, they have to keep their belongings in their room and not junk up the downstairs of the house, they need to keep track of their outdoor toys because they tend to share them in the neighborhood, and they have to do random tasks I ask them to do- such as feeding the dog. It isn't a lot at all.

Well, for the past week or so, when I have asked them to do simple tasks, they have done just enough to say they have done it.  It has been very shoddy work.  La unloaded the dishes in such a manner that when I went to straighten out the mess she had made in the cupboard I nearly got brained to death by two falling dinner plates. KiKi lives her life in a perpetual state of IDGAF (I don't give a frig) is always half assing her chores.Well, this day, I had asked them to pick up all the Hama/Perler beads that they had been using outside with their friends. They once again, they decided to only do just enough to say it was done. They just weren't counting on my already foul mood.

When I came into the back garden and saw all the patterns for the beads scattered across the grass I lost the plot.  These are patterns that I had pinned on Pinterest for them and printed. So they had cost me time and money in the form of all the paper and ink that were invested into these patterns. I was not impressed to see them in my yard scattered and wet because someone had also decided to mess around with the garden hose. So angry.

After I had finished screeching at them for five solid minutes and telling them both to dry up the tears because they weren't going to make me feel a bit sorry for them, I grounded them for the rest of the evening. This for them was the tipping point.  Oh no, not the scolding they they had just gotten, but being told that they could not go outside for the rest of the evening, that killed them. Wails of "That's not fair!!" echoed from the walls of The Bungalow.  In their eyes, I was the enemy because I had grounded them for something that "isn't even a big deal anyway!" ya know cause it's just paper. They just did not understand that it wasn't about the paper.  It was about the halfway done state of the tasks I have assigned this week.  Tasks that haven't even been hard.

Maybe I was hard on them.  Maybe I have higher expectations than I thought I had. Or maybe, just maybe, I am getting to that point where good enough just isn't good enough.  I want it done right; the first time. I don't want to have to fix it.  I don't want to ask the children to fix it again.  I just want it done.  I want them to put the right amount of effort into a task the first time.  I don't think that is too much to ask, do you?

Finding My Voice Again

I was going to write a post apologizing for my blogging absence, but I'm not.  I think we are all adults here and know that life happens.  I got busy.  I had writers block.  I lost my mojo.  We have all been there as bloggers.  Burnout happens.